I HOPE I NEVR SEE U AGAIN

WHY DO I GET SO SCRED

WHEN I THINK OF SEEING U AGAIN

WHY DO I STILL FKIN CARE

DNT ANSWR THAT

I KNOW WHY I WONT ADMIT IT CAUSE

TO DO THAT IS TO PLY A DANGEROUS GAME OF TRUTH OR DARE

EITHER WAY SHE WINS

WE LOOSE

IM THE FOOL

YOUR THE VICTIM

AND WE’RE JUST FKIN CRUEL

I KNOW THAT NOW

ARE YOU STIL PLAYING DUMB

OR ADMIT TO IT TOO

WHAT YOU DO

WHAT THE FK

THIS HURTS SO FKIN MUCH

WHY DO I STILL EVEN LOVE YOU

BECAUSE YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

YOU HIDE THAT FROM EVERYONE ELSE SO WHY SHOW ME

THEN CHOOSE THAT BITCH TINA

WHY COULDNT SHE JUST STAY MATES WITH NANCY

WHY DID YOU LET THAT GUY PIN YOU

THAT VICIOUS DNACE

I REMEMBER WHEN I LET YOU PIN ME

I REMEMBER WHEN I MADE YOU INTRODUCE US

YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW IM CRAZY

BECAUSE I FELT CLOSE TO YOU WHEN YOU STUCK THAT NEEDLE IN MY ARM

I DIDNT KNOW HWY YOU HAD TO HIDE IT FORM ME

I THOUGHT THIS COULD BE FUN

YOU SAID YOU WERE TRYING TO PROTECT ME

WE DIDNT FAIL

OR MAYBE I FAILED YOU

I LIVE WITH MY GUILT

I LIVE WITH THAT PAIN TOO

I DIDNT GIVE UP ON YOU

I DIDNT GIVE UP ON LOVE

I HAD TO GIVE UP ON HOPE

THAT CRUEL CONCEPT THAT THEY TEACH US IS TRUE

THAT I COULD BE UR MAN

THAT I COULD SAVE YOU

THAT YOU COULD BE MY BOY

THAT YOU COULD CHOOSE ME

RETEACH MYSELF TO SEE THROUGH MY HEAD NOT MY EYES

RETEACH MYESLF THAT TO BE HAPPY IS GOODBYE

SHE DOESNT DO REALITY

SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOU OR ME

SHE DOESNT DO REASON

I GAVE YOU 4 YRS

I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I COULD

I KNOW YOU LOVE ME

DO YOU KNOW IM CRYING AS I WRITE THIS

MADE MYSELF LET HATE IN

MADE MYSELF LET ANGER FILL ME

NO ONE UNDERSTOOD ME

I COULDNT EXPLAIN IT TO THEM

THEY WERE DEAF

I WAS ALONE

I LEARNT TO HUG MY PILLOW FOR AFFECTION

I FLET LIKE A TRIGGER

AND THE STUPID THING IS I STARTED USING AFETR YOU LEFT

YOU DIDNT PROTECT ME FRM SHIT

OR WAS THAT A LIE TOO

WERE YOU JUST ASHMED

ONLY U KNOW WHAT KIND OF DARK YOU WENT THROUGH

DO U FINALLY REALISE THATS WHAT KILLED ME

THE LIES NOT THE ADDICTION

WHY DO I GET SO SCRED

WHEN I THINK OF SEEING U    

I found a new man who’s more than incredible

Who’s teaching me to love again

Who’s showing me what I could have if I chose to leave you.

I KNOW IVE BEEN SELFISH

I KNOW I TRAETED U LIKE SHIT

I KNOW I WILL ALWAYS HATE ME FOR WHAT I DID

I KNOW I WILL ALWAYS LIVE WITH THE WHAT IF

FILTERED INTO GUILT

But how are you

Do you try to kill yourself

Cause i know you feel the same

And your not as stubborn as me

But i know your stronger than this stupid game

I hope you find a reason

I hope you get your beautiful smile back

And find someone like I have who can rebuild you

To love and protect you

To help you stay on track

AND I FKIN HOPE I NEVER HAVE TO SEE YOU

SEEING YOU HAPPY, WELL, WITH ANOTHER MAN

CAUSE THAT WOULD TEAR ME APART

IN NEW WAYS OF HURT AND HELL

SO I HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN

a poem by me, about him.