ASK ROGAN

I remember when this came out and the studios I was filming for said you can’t post stuff like that and when I told them I had man-drag performances online they said, take those down! I was a DOM MACHO TOP now and couldn’t be posting stuff like that. Do you think I listened to them? That was a distinct point in my porn career where I made a personal decision not to ever pretend to be someone Im not, or allow closed minded pre-conceptions of what other people had about masculinity and what it means influence my beliefs or my choices. And as soon as I retired from working with studios I was allowed to fully embrace my absolute truth in everything I did or filmed.

I always laugh at how stupid guys get when confronted with terms like masc and fem. How much they lie or act just because they want other peoples approval of them or to be called or seen a certain type. At the end of the day, you have it or you don’t honey, And no amount of faking it will ever make you pass for the real deal. For me there was never a dos and don’ts for being a masculine man. I discovered what masculinity meant for me, thanks most part to my father, his obsession with bodybuilding, boxing, wrestling and D-Grade barbarian films. For right or wrong Tarzan was my role model and the kind of guy I wanted to be when I grew up.

During the process of discovering who I was, what I was and becoming the Alpha Beast King you all know me for i also discovered pop music, wigs, women’s clothing and makeup and had fun with it all! Dressing up and camping it up to have a fun night with myself or friends never changed who I was or what I am and I will happily then, now and forever belt out a mime to my fav HSM song on camera as much as own and abuse a sub on that very same camera.

Discover YOUR TRUTH. Learn it. LOVE it. OWN it. Even if it means going your own way…

Back in London for the second time, I hope to now finally find that long over–due stability and base with my first home since 2016. (After leaving my awesome home in Australia because of an insane stalker! Wait for the book! Well, that wasn’t the real reason but it is true.) There are so many other factors involved, other than the issues I was having, in my decision to give up on the Madrid dream and move back to London. After all I had made that decision 3 years ago! And still had not managed to get my Visa. A lot FKIN changes in 3 years! Including finding a man who I never dreamed possible who had managed to resurrect my damaged heart and show me how great a partner can actually be. So the idea would have been, being in Spain for a few years on my own then ending up in a home with him in London. But that few years on my own has already passed, waiting for paperwork and living like a nomad.  I also had my stuff being shipped over from from Australia. Initially, to Spain but now I was thinking it made sense to get it sent to the UK instead.

So here I am, writing this post in my mans apt as we look for our new love nest to move into together. I got my mum praying for this to be it. And as someone who has had to make all his own fortune, success and achievements in life on his own, (And no longer having to rely on someone else, like I was in Madrid) I plan on making this the start of the next chapter in my life and finding a happiness that has been vacant for quote some time.

It’s been a LONG journey for me and my bodybuilding. First COVID hit and took away a lifestyle that not only provided me with a globally lusted after GOD BEAST BODY! but grounded me with structure in my life that kept the dark side of my life and career (You don’t work in the sex industry and not be subjected to a lot of dark shit!) at the door. Provided me with constant motivation and fed my emotional and mental health with positivity. After COVID and due to some of that fore–mentioned dark shit finally being able to shove its way through the door, I suffered a massive physical set–back when I got nerve damage to my shoulder which took almost 12 months to heal and straight after that I was in intensive care with pneumonia. Then I dived into the massive task of, finally after 7 years of being a nomad, relocating my life from Australia to Spain, which I am still in the process of doing.

All that was a massive blow to my bodybuilding and body. Not to mention my mental health and confidence. Which to most people would sound ridiculous, and even in my worst physical shape I was still a league above most “normal” guys. But any real bodybuilder would understand what I am saying because once you start on a bodybuilders journey it is a lifestyle commitment that lasts your entire life or as long as you want to be the best version of you that you can be.

I am so FKIN happy to finally be seeing myself return to the level of physical achievement I was at before all that shit went down. To be able to workout at an intensity I am used to and to again be able to not be struggling to get back what I lost but to be striving to be greater than I have ever been. My shoulder is good. My lungs not so much, but that will take time and extra work on my behalf, which I plan on doing by hitting a pool and including swimming into my daily gym routine. That, or boxing, if I can find a good place to do boxing in Madrid.

We can’t control what life throws at us and it can and will throw a shit pile in our faces at times. We can’t control what people try to do to us and they can and will fuck you up any which way they want too. All you have control over is YOU. You decide what kind of life you want to live and strive to live it. You decide what kind of people you want in your life and try to find those people to fill it. And when shit happens to you – you decide how you will react to it and what you will do about it. Which shows the kind of person you have decided you want to be. And it’s FKIN hard! Even for a GOD like me, who most people think has the world at his feet, and in most part I do, but I also get a heap of negativity, hate and set backs thrown at me on a daily basis. I have a heap of scars and hurt in me and so much pain to process in one lifetime. I have my insecurities, doubts and days when I fight myself to get up and keep fighting even though everything I see, hear and feel is telling me to surrender, give up or distract myself with substance abuse on what ever level that may be. Luckily I am one stubborn bastard and I refuse to give up on myself and what I want to achieve in my life and who I want to be. So I keep on keeping on with all the other stubborn bastards out there… and I say to you guys… Even though everything will try to stop us, NOTHINGS GOING TO STAND IN OUR WAY!

(I won a ticket to see the animated Transformer movie by winning a colouring competition in the newspaper! I LOVED that film. And that there is a great example of what you can achieve if you just believe in yourself and try the best you can. And in this case keep the colours inside the lines!)