It’s true, I wrote Dannii Minogue a passionate hand written letter explaining, probably begging would be closer to the truth, why she should call me, yes I gave her my home phone line, no mobiles back then, and make me one of her back up dancers! And I meant every FKIN word of it. She had just released her debut album and I had lost my shit over it! Love and Kisses was my most played song, and I was spending hours in my lounge room playing, rewinding and replaying the music video to try and lean the chorey. She was my number one artist! I had already grown up with her on Young Talent Time where I had formed a huge CRUSH on her as my favourite. Yes I was also still “straight” at this point in my life, or rather didn’t have a clue I was gay. So when I heard she was doing an album signing at a local Brisbane shopping centre I knew it was my chance to change my life and make my dreams come true!
I also considered myself a bit of a dancer back then and was much, MUCH slimmer and less constricted. Now I just have a hard on for dancers and am happy to pound them rather than try and pound that dance floor. Anyway, I actually thought what did I have to loose? This could be an opportunity to change my life, so I sucked up my insecurities and poured my heart out in that letter! If only I could read what I said now! What ever it was I am positive it was ridden with spelling mistakes and atrocious gramma, because though I may consider myself a good story teller, I am the opposite in the finer details of the art form. And a young mans big dreams of becoming not only a back up dancer BUT Danni’s back up dancer was set in motion. I also have no doubt I fantasied about us falling in love and becoming a famous power couple…
BUT as we all know this did not happen and my dreams of dancing fame were crushed by a huge silence, and instead I turned gay and became a hooker and porn star instead! And it was all Dannii Minogue’s fault! Which made bottoms and many tops all over the world VERY happy! That is till last year, when I finally received a reply to my lost earnest and enthusiastic letter via the amazing help of one of my best friends Bradda!!
But like the legend herself said, “It’s ALL about the FLEX!” now.
My Fav Dannii tracks!
