Last year I mentally and emotionally hit rock bottom. My depression took over, the first time since I was a teenager. Depression can affect people in many different ways. To explain what it does to me, it immobilises my motivation and drive. For anything. I don’t want to die, but I can’t bring myself to live. I started meds last year for both depression and ADHD – which I had been very dangerously self medicating myself on meth to function. With massive help from my mum and my boy friend, @alexander_interrupted I managed to bring myself back to the daily grind of life and get my visa for Spain and my first home in 9 years.
Unfortunately this year has been really tough to find peace and allow myself to enjoy it. The relocation was not easy and is still dragging on. My depression, though not as intense keeps coming and going in patches. And I have accumulated a series of fucked up events that makes it hard to be optimistic. Then I go get a fkin puppy, who is fkin amazing! And the best dog ever! But realistically bad timing.
So if I haven’t responded to your DM, it’s because I haven’t opened them in months. I don’t remember what a sex app looks like? And I have not been keeping up with content on any of my platforms. I’m lucky if I get to the gym once a week! Aleluya for muscle memory! I think it’ll take the rest of this year for me to sort all the shit out but I am going to try and be present, post, create, occasionally still fuck! I’m gonna give the meds a real chance to do what they’re supposed to. And as they say there’s no such thing as a functional user, I am attempting to make decisions that keep me sober.
And I’m going to learn Spanish! anyone know a school or tutor that specialises in special needs students? Seriously, if Pumkin can get Caroline I can get this language.
