Firstly.. The Disclaimer.
This post may be topic sensitive to a certain demographic of gays who are older and had to go through the horrific AIDS epidemic. PLEASE know that in no way would I ever be-little that important history or what you guys had to endure. I mean absolutely no dis-respect or am I making light any of our history. Like other aspects of gay fetish culture such as SPH (Small Penis Humiliation) which I do have a lot of experience with growing up, I now accept its place in modern gay role play and have turned a negative into a positive (Pun intended.)
The Fetish.
BBUG CHASING is a fetish of intentionally seeking to be infected with HIV by getting it fucked into you by a POZed cock. It can also be used for the similar act of seeking out STIS.
I am not talking about STEALTHING, in which a POZ man actively tries to infect a negative man with HIV, without the latter’s knowledge or consent. This usually is done by the non-consensual removal of a condom during sex. Or can be by the GIVER choosing not inform his partner of his sexual status. Some guys just get off on slipping the condom off, or breaking it, during sex without telling their partner. This can also be called a type of stealthing. I am not turned on by this or have absolutely any interest in it.
The first real experience I had of bug chasing was when I was age a job fucking this guy who asked me to tell him I wanted to POZ him. As I always do, I took him literally and replied, “Um, but I’m not positive.” He said role play it with me…
Now when it comes to role play, I have to admit role plays don’t actually turn me on. I also find it hard to step into a role play if I can’t relate it to me or fully take on that fictional mind set. Call me more of a method fucker.
…so when this guy said role play POZing him I had to pause and try and think, how do I do this? The guy may have noticed this and pointed me on the general direction. I can’t remember what he actually said but it would have been something along the lines of, “I want your toxic seed to infect me so I know I totally belong to you.” BAM! I could def relate to owning this sub not only with my cock and load but with my toxic load that would stain him for life and make him belong to me! My cock was rock hard and off I went!
Fantasy Vs Reality.
I remember bringing it into sex with a sex partner who also got turned on by it. And then proceeded to use it any time he wanted to try and make me blow quicker. One day he called me and said he was going to hook up with a guy who was actually detectable and wanted to POZ him, and asked my permission. We had a Alpha -Sub/ Daddy – Boy relationship. Suddenly fantasy became a very stark reality and I found myself surprisingly nervous. For some reason allowing my boy to go and get (possibly) POZed by another guy didn’t feel right. I ended up settling on it being my FOMO and ALPHA characteristics. For example I would feel fine if we went together or was orchestrating the meet or if I was the one who was doing the POZing. In the end the guy couldn’t meet and that was that. But that day I discovered that bug chasing was a fantasy for me not a reality.
I have had many lovers and sexual partners that are POZ and undetectable. I have no doubt fucked guys that were detectable. I do not treat these men any differently than I would someone negative. If anything, the perverted mind in me may think the sex may be better with a POZ guy cause he may be more adventurous and piggy. POZ talk is a regular role-play or fantasy dialogue that turns me on and I practice with other guys who are also turned on by it. We mean no disrespect to anyone and are not promoting the actual act of bug chasing but the freedom of sexual fantasy and expression in a taboo topic that gets us off. Let’s face it if it wasn’t taboo, or considered, “naughty” or “dirty” would we still be turned on by it?
Where the line lays between it being fantasy and reality is completely up to you to discover…
We threw in the POZ talk right at the end, and it did what it always tends to do. Watch the film Daddy’s Faggot part two, now at my XXX page. The reason I felt inspired to write this post is because so many guys have messaged me saying how hot (brief) section was in the film or that they blew to it heaps of times! This made me aware that it was noticed and it was popular and like any fetish that may not be regular I always like to start an open conversation about it with my followers and educate the as best I can.
Just remember educate yourself on the sex acts or fetish’s you wish to explore, the pros and cons, dangers and solutions, and always communicate with your partners. Never feel ashamed to talk or ask or do. Within fundamental human respect and practice for yourself and your partner. And maybe try not to break the law while you’re at it.
On the subject of bug chasing, let me just say to those who fantasize about it – THINK AGAIN. i lived in New York City from 1978 to 1982. I was an attractive, young blond chorus boy type pursuing a career in musical theatre. If you were gay at that time, life was an ongoing sex party. I couldn’t go anywhere without being cruised multiple times. I was cruising, too. Every gay man was subjected to the same, and doing the same as I was. So many men, so little time. I trained at the most cruisy gay gym in Manhattan, the Sheridan Square Gym. It was not unusual to see a gay bodybuilding celebrity there. I remember seeing Chris Dickerson, Bob Paris, and several New York based Colt Studio models (Bruno, among others) on a regular basis. We all partied on, unaware of what was bubbling beneath the surface. I remember seeing an article from the New York Times posted on the gym bulletin board regarding a mysterious gay cancer that was beginning to take the lives of men in the gay community. Quickly, the situation grew much worse. Still the community partied on, me included. I loved to go to the St. Marks Baths in the East Village and collect multiple loads in my hot, young ass. Over time, I realized I needed to leave the city or I was going to die. I left in May of 1982 and returned to university, eventually earning a degree in accounting and a Masters Degree in Business Administration. I toiled away in the energy industry as an oil and gas accountant for 30 years before retiring . Early on in my career, I decided to finally get tested for HIV. I was positive. At that time, a death sentence. I have been on HIV meds since December 1991. Eventually, I developed full blown AIDS. At the worst, I had a CD4 count of 11. I developed AIDS -related non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and given a 50 percent chance of survival. After six months of chemo, I was in remission. Throughout, I continued bodybuilding until I became too weak to continue. Once in remission, I returned to the gym and gained back my losses. Three years later, I developed Kaposi Sarcoma in my throat. Fortunately, my lesions were internal. As I began to lose weight again, I told my employer I had throat cancer. He suggested I consider not coming in to work for awhile as my appearance was alarming to my co-workers. I wasted down from my bodybuilding weight of 185 to 190 lbs. to 135. I had “the look”. I ignored his suggestion and continued to work and train as much as I could. Finally, after switching from one HIV drug to another for years, a new class of drugs – protease inhibitors – became available just as I was beginning to run out of time. My turn around was quick. Within a month, I began to noticeably regain my lost weight and energy. My musclehead mentality returned. To this day, I am the eternal gymrat even though I don’t have the same muscle mass of my youth. At my age, I don’t want to experiment with PEDs. I remain undetectable. Bottom line to all bug chasers, while you romanticize about being “POZed”, consider what follows – a lifetime of doctor appointments and expensive medication. Be sure you have top-notch medical insurance to help cover the costs. And don’t forget the stigma that can go along with being positve. It is not a merit badge. I am one of the lucky ones. I have been blessed with ambition which I believe is one of the reasons I am still alive. I am now happily and securely retired I’m still training and going for the pump. Most people guess I am ten years younger than my 71 years. Still, most of my peers from my younger years who partied on are dead. So much creative talent gone forever. I repeat – THINK AGAIN.
I want to post this up because it is important to acknowledge the reality of HIV and even more respect the history of it. I can’t imagine what is was like for this brave man or the countless others. It is important to talk openly about these things and not shy or shame away from them. Weather you are turned on or repulsed by the fetish of bug chasing, the facts and the history remains the same and should not be ignored. As long as you are not hurting anyone else you should do and explore what you wish too but please educate yourself in the things you want to explore and respect the facts. PS anyone who shames another person for having HIV is a complete waste of space to me and go fuck off!