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Recently I had a hernia op and was inactive for a month. It took another whole month for me to try and get back into any kind of routine. Leading into the op I was like, “Finally, some time off!” Instead, not being “active” all puns intended, and being able to do the 2 things that define me; gym and sex, made me fall into a severe depression. I have spoken about struggling with depression as a teen. The shit thing is u never cure yourself from it u just create ways to manage it. It’s not surprising considering I lead such an exaggerated life based on my physicality, which affects my mentality, that my depression hit me hard when that was taken away. I felt the worst I had since I could remember. For those of u that luckily don’t suffer from this disease let me give u a quick idea. U lose all motivation, u don’t wanna wake up in the morning but don’t wanna go to sleep at night (knowing the next day is lurking towards you.) You lose confidence and u start being self-destructive. That varies per person, self-harm, binge eating, substance abuse, isolation. Not a good thing for a self proclaimed GOD! Speaking of which, several guys reached out to me during this time for advise to fight their own battles with depression and for encouragement to be motivated and confident like me. (Insert the “Um?” emoji)

Why am I telling u this? Because I want u to know ur not alone, so MANY of us suffer form depression, lack of motivation and self sabotage inc me, Mr-FKYEA-ALPHA-DADDY! From my experience the best way to break a downward spiral is to create a list of things u want to achieve. Schedule stuff into your day or week and use these to force u to start being active. Stop eating shit and using substances weather drugs or drink. Eating clean forces more preparation and planning – the more u can fill your day/week/life with active projects or goals the less you will have time to indulge in ur depression. For me it was pretty FKIN simple. I had to get back into the gym. BUT by the time I realised this I wasn’t even motivated to go! The added frustration I had was when I did go I’d start my workout or get half way through an exercise and my hernia would make me stop.

You can spend years building yourself up and it can take a few minutes for you to allow yourself to fall apart.

This is the first week that I feel myself again and have been hitting the gym consistently, my workouts may not be what they were and I may have to stop due to my op but the key to success here is that I go every day and do what I can. Give me a month and I hope to be back to BEAST MODE! (And posting new selfies up!) The first step and the hardest step to breaking outta depression is forcing yourself to acknowledge you are in a terrible place and that only you have the power to change that.

Keeping busy is depression’s worst enemy. Then once you get into a routine it will get easier. As for self confidence, that’s a whole other battle even though they are interconnected. You don’t like the way you look, do something about it. You hate your job, change it. You hate your life, live it differently. Of course it’s never gonna be that FKIN simple but that is life – it can be easy peasy or hard as FK! The only thing you are in control of is how you react to the highs and lows and as a result create your reality.

And tell em the FLEX! told you so.


Oh, and don’t rely on others for your own happiness. Of course other people, lovers and social circles will influence your self worth but at the end of the day you need to stand alone in front of a mirror and be happy with who you see. AND don’t be ashamed of needing medication. I have never used it or believe in it because I suffer from psychological depression not chemical.

images the DARK ROOM

Join the discussion 8 Comments

  • Raz says:

    Man Rogan, this is hella well timed reading for me…I been having the most fucked few weeks for mental health and have just started seeing a shrink on a mental health plan. It’s shit when something dredges up all that stuff but I do think it gets easier to recognise it the older you get. I think it is awesome you can be so open about this and everything you said about best way to deal with it is 100%

  • Thanks so muh for sharing this 🙂 makes me feel better about myself and encourages me to overcome my depression and find positive ways to diminish it in my life.

  • Asad says:

    U r right … despite all love and affection at the end of day u hv to be alone 🙁

  • Stephen says:

    Hi Rogan, I just want you to know that I read the article about depression and your hernia operation and how it’s affected you. I was very moved by it thank u for sharing i too suffer from depression u r a sensitive &caring man. Stephen

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