I get asked this all the time, how do I live my life being who I am and not allow all the nasty comments, narrow-minded judgments and blatant bitchiness from other gays affect me. If you only take one thing away from reading this article please let it be this… STOP SELF-SHAMING! Once you do that no one can make you feel ashamed or embarrassed of who you are or what you do. You take away their power to hurt you and you see their attacks for what they are, actually nothing to do with you and all to do with them.
I used to hate myself. I was shy and very insecure. I was frigid (believe that one?!) ashamed of my skin colour, voice, sexuality, and body. It took me years to overcome these things, some much longer than others. I’m not going to go into my personal journey from a shy child into a depressed teenager into a sex God and gay icon. All you need to know is you need to accept yourself before you can be yourself. In this life you need to find your TRUTH and accept it, own it, live it and LOVE IT! And if you don’t like who you are, fucking do something about it! And if you just rolled your eyes, I didn’t say it’s going to be easy but it can be done. I know because I did it. And once I did that people could throw all their hate at me and I couldn’t’ give a shit.
I remember when I started doing porn I heard a guy I had hooked up with had said, “Why is he doing porn? His cock’s not big enough.” At the time it made me self-doubt myself, and my, now famous and worldwide adored, beast cock. At the time I was still discovering my sexual confidence and more importantly having the courage to explore the sex that I wanted to have. And I wasn’t confident with my dick or how to use it.
Hating on each other has become the norm within our community and in our every day social behavior and though it is not the cause, social media has provided people with a platform to rip each other apart. The web, Facebook, Instagram, and dating apps has allowed all these people who have chips on their shoulders that hid away in their own misery a place to finally, and more often than not anonymously, come out and throw their shit onto everyone else. Trolling, bullying, hating and abuse has infested an amazing platform for connecting people, sharing life achievements, education, and open communication.
YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE SO JUST PLEASE YOURSELF.
I never have done anything for people to like me. Everything I do is to entertain myself, I only get to live this life once and I am not going to waste a FKIN second trying to live it to please anyone else. As long as I am not disrespecting or hurting anyone I just do me. And for someone to hate on me they have to actively find me, click on me, and do so. So what is this obsessive need to jump on someone else’s platform and shit negativity?
This leads us to the next most important thing you need to do, DO NOT ENGAGE!
Do not try to change anyone’s mind or argue with him or her to try and see your point of view. They don’t and they won’t. These people are blinded by their own self-hatred and loathing and are not open to any type of reasoning or common sense. I used to engage before I knew better and it is a complete waste of time and energy. And if you weren’t upset to begin with, you will be by the end of that conversation.
Most of the people that hate on you, or talk shit about you or what you do, DO NOT KNOW YOU!
They have never met you and they know absolutely nothing about you BUT think they do. And absurdly think they have some god-written write to criticize and comment on what you do. Of course, someone like me has to accept I will get the good with the bad. For every amazing comment there will be a nasty one. And I am not against an intelligent different point of view or stance against something I have said or good old-fashioned constructive criticism but we are talking about pure viscous nasty shit for the sake of hurting. Also, someone sees me post a muscle worship video of me flexing and talking all DOM and degrading and the motherfucker thinks that’s what I am like for real. Like I’ll walk past a stranger on the street who nods hello and my response is to rip my top off and flex in his face screaming, “You pathetic sub-human. Bow down in the face of alpha greatness!” (And if I was to do that and say, get a hard-on from doing it, who are they to judge what my fetishes are!)
I posted up a video the other day of me miming to Louise’s Naked. (Before my Instagram account was taken down. The new one is up @roganrichardsstrikesback. In the comments, a guy came at me for using “Camp” in a derogative way. I had said, “I don’t think you’re gonna see me more camp than this” Um. Where the fuck did I say “camp” is a negative thing? His attack was a direct response to his own issues with the word camp. So you see it doesn’t matter what I say or do, other people will react to it according to their own perceptions. I have no problems with calling myself camp or fem and if this cunt knew me, or checked out my BLOG he would see this for himself. Most of the time the people attacking you about something are just projecting their own issues about the thing they are accusing you of doing, in reality, doing just what they are accusing you of.
But once you see all this shit for what it is you can stop FKIN caring about it and you can get on with living your life the FKIN way you want too!
picture Charles Moriarty Photography