I can´t stop listening to Sky Ferreira´s – I Blame Myself at the moment. (PS if you haven´t checked this girls music out – do it she FKIN rocks!) I know I have been a little distant lately on my social media platforms. I didn’t realise how lost I got till it was too late. A bunch of stuff has been going on, some you guys already know, some you guys probably figure out from my posts, and some stuff I hope to tell you guys about very soon. Because If I am talking to you about it, it means I´ve come out the other end and am back in a good place.
At the end of the day, I am my own creation, and though I have a lot of external factors and other people affect my me and my life, it doesn´t matter, I can only blame myself for who I am and where I am right now. Our reality is the result of our actions and choices, and I have been making a lot of bad choices. I´ve hurt people and I´ve been badly hurt.
It sometimes feels like I´m swimming against the tide, exerting so much energy and effort but going nowhere. Just managing to stay above water and not drowning. I created an image of myself, and people react to me accordingly. It has and will continue to be a blessing and a curse. Fuck duality! I have had so much love, laughter, opportunities and amazing things happen in my life because of what I do and who I am but then I get as much hate, sadness, restrictions and incredibly awful things done to me. I take the blame for everything even when it´s not my fault because I know that I put myself in any given situation.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you guys for sticking around. I have always said there´s no me without you. I don´t take you guys for granted and I wanted you to know I am trying to sort my shit out (at the moment, technical, emotional and physical) and get back to the gorilla daddy you all know me as…