I really hate when sex work is portrayed as something negative. I started escorting in 2010 and it wasn’t til October 2022, last month, when a severe pneumonia infection made me delete my rent profiles for the first time in over two decades. To counter the negative opinion about sex work and being a sex worker I want to tell you that I am proud of being an escort and providing happiness or the best fuck many of my clients ever had, however transactional it may have been. On the most part I have loved being a sex worker. I can honestly say I often enjoyed sex with clients more than regular hook ups. (This is when I was dealing with respectful, decent or just basically normal clients.)
I wont deny that the industry can eat you up and spit you out if you aren’t emotionally and mentally equipped to take advantage of it and not allow it to take advantage of you. I am talking about people who are doing sex work through their own free choice. I honestly know a lot of these people are just too lazy to get a normal job. I have had too many conversations with guys who hate escorting but do it because it pays more than a regular job. I always think to myself, is it enough money to justify the emotional damage you are doing to your self esteem?
The difference between those guys and me is I wanted to be an escort. I didn’t have to. I wanted to. And I FKIN loved it!
I have always said escorting developed my sexual confidence. It supported me as I traveled the world and built myself into the well known porn name I am today and into the brand I created. I feel really lucky to be able to say I have had really great experiences and really FKIN hot ones. I never felt I was going to escort til I had a certain amount of money. Or til i was a certain age. I saw myself doing for years to come…
But last month when I was admitted into the ICU of a Madrid hospital I made a decision to delete my online rent profiles. And it was such a humongous relief! Which might seem like a contradiction to what I have just told you BUT let me tell you the annoying-as-fuck side of being an escort that makes me happy to say I am stopping…
above: “If you’re gonna go. Go with a smile.” me and my man in ICU.
The main reason I don’t want to continue doing sex work is because of all the areas my career branches into, escorting is the only one where chem-sex is predominant. I would even go as far as saying 90% of my job enquires. I have said, and I will be very vocal on my experience with chem-sex as a sexually active gay man, porn actor and sex worker but I want to put some distance between being in the thick of it (using) and when I start to talk about it. I guess you get back what you put out and I put it out there that I am a filthy piggy sex animal. AND I AM! But I am able to be this sober. The only difference chems makes on my behaviour is not what I am doing but how long I am doing it for. (And after awhile being able to string sentences together.) Unfortunately for a lot of guys, and i mean most of them, to have that kind of sex they need to be high. Whenever I was having full-on amazing animal sex with a guy I always asked them, wether they were a client, film partner, or hook up, can they fuck like this sober? And every one of them said no. (Actually, one said yes and now he’s my boyfriend.)
I wont blame sex work alone for my semi -spiral out of control as my delt injury, losing function of my right arm and not being able to properly gym for 6 months, had a much bigger effect on my substance abuse than sex work did. Bodybuilding always kept me on the (somewhat) straight and regimented and when that was taken away from me (like the majority of gays when Covid hit) I lost my reason to say, its time to stop. But even more annoying than having too many benders was the chem head clients that expected you to meet them for an hour, get high, then go about the rest of your day. Or that messaged you at 3am and expected you to be sitting with one hand on your mobile, waiting for them to text, and the other on your teleport machine that could miraculously allow you to arrive at any given destination within a few minutes!
This leads me to the TIME WASTERS. Below is one page of a bunch of contacts I have on my phone. (ALL of which I can finally delete!!!) WOT = Wast Of Time. DNA = Do Not Answer.
The amount of time wasters jacking off their dicks while texting me with absolutely no intention of actually hiring me was ridiculous. And don’t get me started on all the clients that were going to fly me fuck-knows-where for however-the-fuck-amount I wanted, until I said make a deposit, and they disappear. The amount of wankers that dont even know or care how to communicate. And if you ever contacted me with a “hey” I put you in the dumb as shit basket and deleted you straight away. I am not going to miss those dumb cunts, or the time wasters, or the bitter haters or the guys who used my escorting profile to try and hook up with me. WTF!?!
BUT … to all the amazing clients I had and who I shared amazing experiences with. To the men who I had a positive effect on, or who I gave a well needed physical healing or release too. Gave a respectful intimate meeting. Or just bang the fuck out of and fucked them into the next day and tomorrow! I will genuinely miss those times I spent with you. And I want to thank you for helping me discover who I am, physically and emotionally. For allowing me to have an amazing job that I loved and that I was great at.
And allowing me to be me!