The truth is people change. I am forever changing. My body, my likes, and dislikes, my sexual fetishes, my morals, and beliefs. Life is a journey and I believe we are meant to evolve over that journey into the best possible person we can be or the happiest, hopefully, both. We are all flawed and imperfect. I know I have many imperfections and I try to acknowledge and remove them from my life. There are also people, if we are lucky, who are in your life as family or friends or lovers for a time, that change you, influence you and mold you in a positive way through their relationship with you. But even friends like family or lovers can change and turn against you and become toxic. You have to have the strength, confidence, and knowledge to understand when to let go of these people and move on.
I have talked about not engaging with haters or closed-minded people who attack you for being different or don’t agree or understand who you are or what you do. This also can be applied to X lovers. It never shocks me how someone who meant the world to you, who you were ready to marry, who you shared everything with… then… is gone, a complete stranger, even someone you now hate and distrust. I recently had the opportunity to address someone who I thought I had deleted from my life but had forgotten one platform. I wrote the text and stopped, I realized that I didn’t need to tell him anything because I knew nothing positive would come from it. It wouldn’t make him see things differently or from my perspective, if anything it would just make him angry and start a fight. I realized (with a lil help from a special pup) I just needed to get it out. To release it so it didn’t grow inside me into something infectious and hideous. So I am gonna write it here.
“I found out what you have been doing and with who. You have no Fkin limits to how cruel and selfish you act. And it’s pathetic that you turn on everyone else to attack and blame them for your actions. You can post up as many self-affirmation posts as your hypocritical fingers can make but you are a lying selfish person. I hate myself for letting you play me for years. You have made me feel like the biggest fool. Congratulations for leading me on for so long. I hope I never see your face again. If there ever was the man inside you that I fell in love with – or if that was all one big act – he died years ago. I don’t even know who you are today. And I will never let you lie to me again.”
OK, I’ll admit this is a little dramatic. I could have maybe just read it to a friend or something. But like all the major things I go through in life I share them with you not to be self-indulgent but to try and teach you something through what I have been through. I know a lot of my followers feel alone dealing with stuff like this cause they message me about it. So I don’t want them to feel alone, even if it’s through reading a blog post from a guy they follow. I also want them to know we can make decisions that will help lessen drama and pain in our lives, it’s popular culture to want to confront and attack someone, reality TV thrives of this, but sometimes just writing it in a blog post or a letter and throwing that letter in the bin is enough to help you move on, you can’t change other people only yourself.