ASK ROGAN

I believe we create our own reality. Our life is the product of the choices we make and the responses we have to what other people do to us. Last night my Prince Albert was ripped out of my cock. Now there is a huge tear in the head of my penis from my urethral opening to the base of the head. I had three different options to film with three different guys last night and if I had made a different choice I most possibly wouldn’t be writing this post today.

The first was a muscle Asian pup I found on Grindr who was a huge fan. The second was a guy I had met years ago to film but when I arrived at the guy’s hotel I could tell he wasn’t very comfortable with filming and I just had to leave. Let’s call him the mistake. The third was a guy I had already filmed with in La Vida Loca. He couldn’t meet till later in the night and as I had suspicions that the Asian kid was fake I thought I’d meet him earlier then go to Viva’s. That way if he was fake it didn’t matter, I would still be filming. Why did I think he was fake? Because of the number of text messages he was sending me since we made contact. Stuff like “I want you to cum in my mouth and my ass and piss in me, stand on your head and juggle five rabbits with your feet”, the number of requests and questions he had was equal to a German client! Those guys have no separation from fantasy and reality. And yes, I get that hiring an escort is to fulfill a fantasy but we are still just humans and not computers that you choose buttons that provide every single fantasy you’ve ever had condensed into one hour. The fantasy is we show up, get hard, and do our job. Anyway, guys who text as much as this kid was are usually fake.

So when the mistake started texting me I made the decision to not meet the Asian kid and turn up to the mistakes place where his boyfriend would film us and join in. In hindsight I know now I should have just waited and gone straight to Viva’s, I knew it would be a guaranteed hot shoot but I was being greedy and thought I could fit in two films in the one night. So we all decide to take some chems during the session which makes mistake a little jumpy and erratic. This is a common reaction to chem use and he isn’t “that” bad yet where I need to tell him to calm down and I decide to wait to see if he calms down naturally instead of possibly making him feel self-conscious by bringing it to his attention. the boyfriend and I are fine, if anything, the complete opposite and mellow. So we throw our leather on and it is going good for the first 10-15 minutes when mistake leans forward on the bed to then fling himself backward, at the same time I must have stepped in closer to him…

It didn’t hurt I just felt something pull and looked down to see blood spraying everywhere and I knew straight away what had happened. The first thoughts that ran through my head were, “Fuck! I just got my dick working again!” And “I only had it for 4 months and my piercings gone!” I grabbed my cock and ran to the toilet and straddled it. The boys gave me an ice pack and towel to put on it as I struggled to stay conscious and not pass out.

The rest is history. All I can say if it happens to you and you end up at the hospital they can’t operate on it right there and then cause If they do the scar tissue would close up the urethra tube. I was given antibiotics, pain killers and Ural. They made me piss to make sure I still could, which made me terrified remembering how much that stung from when I pissed after getting the PA. I could pee so I was sent home. I now have to wait till it heals then book in with a Urologist to make it look less Frankenstein and more Playboy Bunny.

So that’s where we are at guys. It was an accident but did I make the wrong choice to cause it? Regardless I have a rip though my cock as I write this. In the end, I can blame myself for the decision I made or I can put it all down to chance. How we react or respond to what life throws at us is what defines us as a human. This could easily trigger my depression, I could become resentful or bitter at the world around me or try and escape this fucked up reality with drugs or alcohol, as my go-to choice of escape, being sex, isn’t a viable option. But I won’t. I read it might take up to 8-12 weeks for my injury to heal fully and I am going to use that time to be as productive as I can and dive into projects I have been wanting to do for my website. And mostly concentrate on my bodybuilding. I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. I have an amazing career, KIKASS followers, loving friends and family, and a supportive boyfriend who continues to amaze me at how incredible he is.

DISCLAIMER
I do not endorse or glorify chem sex or drug use and if anything this story shows the negative effects using chems during sex can cause. It is a personal choice you make for yourself knowing the negative impact it can have on your life. There’s that ‘choice’ word again. I know a lot of people don’t believe anyone can be a functional user. Except for people using it and trying to not feel bad about it. As a sex worker chem sex became unavoidable in 2016-17 but I can tell you now that there is a huge change within some of the gay community in 2019-20 where people now refuse to use chems, or Tina precisely. Unfortunately, G seems to be as popular as ever and though it doesn’t cause addiction it does cause death. I for one can’t fkin stand G. And it does nothing for me sexually. If your big enough to use chems be man enough to research what you’re using, the effects, dangers and especially dosages and administration.

So I got this question in my contact me section and thought it was an important one to share with all you ROganites.

The Question:
Hi, sorry to bother you, I’ve seen you have talked quite a bit about pumping and bout a pump today but after first time using it and looking up some stuff have come across some info I thought to may be able to clarify from you experience. Can using a penis pump cause erectile dysfunction if you don’t already have it (still get erections naturally)? Would really appreciate your perspective, thanks.

My answer:
Proper usage should never cause any problems or damage to your penis. I have been pumping for over 2 years now and it hasn’t caused any erectile disfunction to my cock. Like anything you just have to be smart about it, read the instructions, watch the videos on YouTube, and most importantly listen to your body. There have been days when I have started to pump but then it felt wrong, or was uncomfortable or hurt… if any of these things happen don’t FKIN force it, stop. Try again tomorrow.

Join me for an open conversation about the Truth and Myths of the Porn Industry. And anything to do with sex, this Sydney Mardi Gra on the Sun 23rd February 330pm – 7pm at Ginger’s 1/134 Oxford Street Darlinghurst.

The truth is people change. I am forever changing. My body, my likes, and dislikes, my sexual fetishes, my morals, and beliefs. Life is a journey and I believe we are meant to evolve over that journey into the best possible person we can be or the happiest, hopefully, both. We are all flawed and imperfect. I know I have many imperfections and I try to acknowledge and remove them from my life. There are also people, if we are lucky, who are in your life as family or friends or lovers for a time, that change you, influence you and mold you in a positive way through their relationship with you. But even friends like family or lovers can change and turn against you and become toxic. You have to have the strength, confidence, and knowledge to understand when to let go of these people and move on.

I have talked about not engaging with haters or closed-minded people who attack you for being different or don’t agree or understand who you are or what you do. This also can be applied to X lovers. It never shocks me how someone who meant the world to you, who you were ready to marry, who you shared everything with… then… is gone, a complete stranger, even someone you now hate and distrust. I recently had the opportunity to address someone who I thought I had deleted from my life but had forgotten one platform. I wrote the text and stopped, I realized that I didn’t need to tell him anything because I knew nothing positive would come from it. It wouldn’t make him see things differently or from my perspective, if anything it would just make him angry and start a fight. I realized (with a lil help from a special pup) I just needed to get it out. To release it so it didn’t grow inside me into something infectious and hideous. So I am gonna write it here.

“I found out what you have been doing and with who. You have no Fkin limits to how cruel and selfish you act. And it’s pathetic that you turn on everyone else to attack and blame them for your actions. You can post up as many self-affirmation posts as your hypocritical fingers can make but you are a lying selfish person. I hate myself for letting you play me for years. You have made me feel like the biggest fool. Congratulations for leading me on for so long. I hope I never see your face again. If there ever was the man inside you that I fell in love with – or if that was all one big act – he died years ago. I don’t even know who you are today. And I will never let you lie to me again.”

OK, I’ll admit this is a little dramatic. I could have maybe just read it to a friend or something. But like all the major things I go through in life I share them with you not to be self-indulgent but to try and teach you something through what I have been through. I know a lot of my followers feel alone dealing with stuff like this cause they message me about it. So I don’t want them to feel alone, even if it’s through reading a blog post from a guy they follow. I also want them to know we can make decisions that will help lessen drama and pain in our lives, it’s popular culture to want to confront and attack someone, reality TV thrives of this, but sometimes just writing it in a blog post or a letter and throwing that letter in the bin is enough to help you move on, you can’t change other people only yourself.