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ASK ROGAN

Here you will find Interviews ROGAN has done over the years and articles about subjects that he feels passionate about.

Jan 01
Love2

LETS HEAR IT FOR THE BOY!

By ASK ROGAN No Comments

He was in 2 outta the 3 top watched films at my website for the year! And our film SPOTLIGHT was the film most watched from start to finish. Yep, its pretty FKIN obvious you guys LOVE SKIPPY BAXTER! And even though mostly everyone I knew told me to walk away from him this year when he was in the clutches of a meth addiction, you guys didn’t and I’m so FKIN happy i listened to my heart and stuck by him. We are far from in the clear but he is better today than he ever has been. I don’t know if we both hit rock bottom but if we didn’t I’d be FKIN terrified to see what that is ’cause we both got to a really dark place. Skip way more then me but I just wanted you all to know he’s doing really FKIN good and I’m there beside him every step of the way.

The last time we spoke about any of this was the AR3 segment and there was an important question asked, “When do you know it’s time to walk away?” At the time both me and Skip said when the addicted person isn’t willing to help himself. That answer was wrong. 2 days after filming that segment Skip went AWOL and was using again. At the time of filming the segment we were both so overwhelmed with emotions that we were too deep into it to see it for what it was. It was only afterwards when I was editing the footage that I released at that time, I believe Skip did want to quit but he wasn’t doing anything to help himself quit, if anything he was doing things to allow him to keep using. And so was I.

I learnt about the word, “Enabling”. When i chased him to saunas to make sure he was coherent and not being abused, when i allowed him to sleep off his comedown at my house, when i filled his car up with petrol so he could get home (he didn’t go home.) All these things I did because i loved him and wanted to help him were actually enabling him to continue to use. I was told trying to have a relationship with an active addict was insanity.

So with more knowledge I can now fully say that our answer was shit. It’s not time to walk away when the addicts not trying to help themselves because if that was so – i would have walked away ages ago. It’s time to walk away when you have no more fight left in you, when you are finally pushed to the point of no return. It’s a double edged sword because if you continue to fight like i did you can absolutely end up hating the person and destroying any type of relationship with them. And trust me there were times when i hated him so much. But Ive said this before and i’ll say it now, i have a warrior complex, it’s what i used to combat my depression and social awkwardness and its what i used to fight Skips meth addiction. Well, that and a shit load of love i have for the fart face.

Touch back with me in 6 months, or realistically, a year from now and I will be able to say how our story ends. For now I’m with Skip and I’m waiting for him to fully heal and come back to me. And for the first time he’s doing everything he can to heal and come back, not only to me but to his life and all the people who love him and all the potential he has to offer it.

He may or may not want to come back to porn and in the end that doesn’t matter, life has a funny way of changing your direction and making you turn right when you were about to turn left.  The people that win at life are not just the ones that learn from their mistakes but acknowledge and accept them. That can see opportunities for what they are and FKIN grab them. There’s no mercy for doubt, insecurity or hesitation.

Like Courtney Alice Shayne and Marcie Fox said, “Learn it. Live it. Love it.” Learn who you are. Live the life you want to live. Love yourself for it.

So, 2 outta 3 huh! That’s me boy!

Dec 07
Love1

TOD and COPPER

By ASK ROGAN One Comment

I once had these two rabbits that I named TOD and COPPER after Disney’s film, The Fox and the Hound. They were given away because I wouldn’t clean out the shit in their cage and my old man got sick of having to do it. In hind sight I should be happy they never gave me away!

You see, when I was young I had this slight problem of shitting my pants. Like, all the time! To the point where I was continuously getting in trouble by my parents. It wasn’t because I enjoyed the sticky , or crusty, depending how long I had been cruising around with the load down there, sensation or the lingering stink. (I guess I’ve always been known for being stinky, only back then it wasn’t the kind anyone was into, let alone willing to pay for, unless you’re into skat!) I just could never justify stopping what ever game I was in the middle off or adventure I had imagined into life in my back yard or the local park, fighting dragons and demons, the fate of the galaxy resting in my hands.

So I was getting grounded for months on end. How do you hide huge streaks? Especially the layered kind? I tried washing them myself on the sly but it was way too much effort. Come on, if I couldn’t be assed to stop what I was doing to lay a shit like I was gonna dedicate the time to cleaning the shit outta my underwear afterwards.

Our house was built on stumps. There were wooden slats to cover the gap between the actual house flooring and the ground. I found a broken slat that made a hole big enough to throw my dirty underwear through. So I ended up chucking about half a dozen (maybe a dozen) of these stained undies through this hole under the house.

Moving on a coupe of years and I’m finally cured! Or as cured as I’ll ever be. One day my father calls me outside. I follow him into the back yard and it’s not till he turns down the aforementioned side of the house that a terrible fear starts to rise from the depths of my stomach. My pace slows as I follow my father to see my mother standing beside the hole in the house, her arms crossed and kneeling at her feet, directly in front of the hole that hid my smelly dirty secrets for years is a plumber they had hired and hand full of my poo crusted underwear!

Oct 12
Love5

TOY SOLDIERS my relationship with meth.

By ASK ROGAN 6 Comments

Skippy did something incredibly brave, in a hypocritical and judgemental world, he spoke up about an evil and terrible battle he has been fighting alone for the last two years with a meth addiction.

he spoke out on his social media;

“I have a confession to make. It’s either going to destroy my reputation or won’t make a difference. For the last 2 years I’ve struggled with drugs more specifically crystal meth. I recently went to rehab and was doing great until recently I relapsed. I’m now back on the road to recovery. The reason why I’m telling you this is not for sympathy or attention. But really awareness. I guarantee you that meth will eventually work its way into every aspect of your life and will destroy it.

Seek help talk to someone.

There is hope. Visit www.bradshawhouse.com.au

This changed my life”

screen-shot-2016-10-12-at-11-50-01-pm

Meth is a powerful FKIN evil and VERY present drug in our community. As a sex worker I am faced with PNP or asked if I’m chem friendly constantly. It’s no less predominant over seas. It’s FKIN everywhere! For those who wanna play the “moderation” card or claim “functional user” sanctuary this story isn’t about you and i really hope it never is. Because no one deserves the intense hurt, frustration and immense evil I have witnessed and experienced.

You guys saw Skippy explode onto my social media in 2013. We have been very public about our relationship, and haven’t left much to the imagination. I’m in love with him but it took a long time to realise this. In all honesty if the sex wasn’t the best sex I’ve ever had I wouldn’t have stuck around in the beginning. But i kept coming back for that ass and i slowly started to see the amazing, funny, brave and beautiful man that was hiding behind layers of walls that he had built up around himself from being hurt during his life. I always say “Absolutely no regrets” But in the last several years I’ve made some FKIN MAJOR MISTAKES! and have caused some broken hearts. Hearts of men that should never have been broken but protected and respected to their dying day. These are my demons and filthy guilts I have to live with.

I had no idea about Skips meth addiction and only became aware of it this year. Ironically, after two years of him fighting for my heart and for me to finally offer it to him, was when the addiction blew out of control and took over his life. And in doing so ripped my heart in ways i didn’t know possible. Let me try and explain something to those of you that are completely alien to what meth does. I know that Skip loves me and didn’t want to hurt me but he would do the most awful things to me. Normally you could confront your partner, reprimand them and either leave them or rebuild from the damage made. But you aren’t fighting your partner you’re fighting the meth addiction and it is merciless. Theres no black and white here its a bottomless pit of grey. Skip got to the point where he had no control over what he was doing. If you’re still lost think “Captain America Civil War” I was the Cap, Skip was Bucky. Everyone had turned their back on him and wanted him accountable for the evil he was doing but I knew that it wasn’t him and that deep down there was still the Skip I fell in love with.

I made this video when I was in the shit of the storm. I didn’t really know much about Meth addiction at the time, only  that Skip had started lying to me and we were fighting constantly. I had told him I needed time away from him when I made this. I posted it up but changed the song to Rihanna’s Kiss It Better, thinking people would think Skip was dead if I used Bright Eyes. (Which then inspired the Kiss It Better video I posted of us on YouTube.) Even though I am very open with you guys I couldn’t talk about what was happening to me because it wasn’t my place to tell people what was happening with Skip. I was really alone during this time. I couldn’t turn to my friends or family for help or support, firstly most of them thought Skip was bad news and I should get rid of him but more importantly they didn’t have the knowledge or understanding to help me.

I was loosing an amazing man, a lover and a friend, my partner in crime. the worst part is I knew he didn’t want to destroy us, it was killing him and that only made him want to use more. It’s a vicious cycle. And for me it wasn’t the addiction to meth that was destroying me but the lying and deceit which you would argue is the addiction so there was no way to win. I was fighting an enemy i couldn’t beat. in my desperation I was doing things I never thought I was capable of doing and becoming a person i didn’t want to be.

The awful truth is I am one of many lovers, friends and family that are unwilling victims in the fight against ice, or what ever poison the person you love has fallen a slave too. I can only describe it as the most hurtful thing to ever happen to me and if you or someone you know suffers from any addiction of this magnitude get help. Don’t try and fight it alone. Talk to people and I’m talking about professional help.

The cruelest thing about all this is there comes a point where you have done all you can, you have taken all the blows you can. There comes a time when you have to understand you can’t save the person, no one can, you can be there for them and try and help them till even that becomes impossible and all that is left to do is walk away and hope that they will decide to take the steps they need to to get help and get better before they end up in hospital, jail or worse, dead.

So where does that leave me and Skip? There’s a terrible chance that Batman has lost his Robin. And even though my hope has all but been beaten down to nothing my heart still wants him to come back to me and for us to rule the world like I always imagined we would…

 

OMG. He’s so Charlie Sheen and I’m Denise Richards!

 

If you’re in Melbourne and need help contact Stuart Fenton at BEYOND ADDICTION

contact the VAC and ask what they offer or check out their program called Re-Wired

check out MethInsideOut on You Tube or SHARC Self Help Addiction Resource Centre.

Just for starters.

 

 

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